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The Rare Ones — Members

You're in the
right room.

You made a decision most men never make. Not just to pay for something — but to stop performing and start building. That decision is rare. The men in this room made the same one.

This page is your operating manual for the next season of work. It has everything you need — how the calls work, what to do between them, how the buddy system functions, and the full six-month pillar curriculum with weekly assignments and scripture anchors.

Read it. Use it. Come to the calls prepared to be honest. The work you do here will show up in your marriage, with your kids, in your faith, and in the way you lead. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. Start here.

— Jeff Boyer · Founder, BILD
The Operating System

How The Rare Ones works.

Every element of this group is designed to keep the work alive between calls — not just during them. The weekly call is the anchor. The buddy system is the accountability. The assignments are where the work actually happens. All three together is what makes the difference.

📞
Weekly Zoom Call

Every week. 60 minutes. Teaching, breakout rooms, and a commitment you make before you leave. Jeff leads. You show up prepared to be honest.

🤝
Buddy System

Paired with 1-2 other men. Every week you send each other five honest answers. Your buddy reads them. He asks about them. This is the accountability that makes the difference.

📋
Weekly Assignment

One specific action each week in one of five arenas — your marriage, your kids, your faith, your work, your healing. Small. Specific. Something you actually do.

📖
6-Month Curriculum

One pillar per month. Each month goes deeper into the pillar than the website content — specific exercises, challenges, and applications for your life right now.

✉️
Pre-Call Email

Before every call you receive one question: "Has something shifted?" Your honest answer becomes what you bring to the room. Come prepared to share something real.

The Brotherhood

The men in this room are doing the same work. You become who you are around. Show up. Be honest. The energy of this room is the most powerful thing about it.

Weekly Zoom

The 60-minute call format.

Every call follows the same structure so you know what to expect and can prepare. The consistency is intentional — when the format is predictable the content can go deep.

Weekly Call Agenda — 60 Minutes Every Week · Same Format
0:00
0:05
Opening Scripture

Jeff opens with the scripture anchor for the current pillar month. One verse. Brief reflection on how it connects to the week's teaching. Sets the spiritual tone for the call.

0:05
0:10
Check-In Round

Every man gives one word that describes where he is right now. No explanation. No context. Just the word. This primes honesty from the first minute and tells Jeff what the room needs.

0:10
0:25
Teaching

Jeff brings 15 minutes of focused teaching from inside the current pillar. Not a general overview — one specific concept, one specific application. This is the content you came for. Take notes.

0:25
0:40
Breakout Rooms

Groups of 2-3 men. One question from the teaching to work through together. 12 minutes. Be honest. Say the thing you almost didn't say. That's the one that matters.

0:40
0:55
Full Group Share + Q&A

Each breakout group shares one thing that came up. Jeff facilitates — reflects, challenges, goes deeper. This is where the room teaches itself. Listen as much as you speak.

0:55
1:00
The Commitment + Close

Every man states one specific action he will take before next week's call. Not a goal. An action. Then Jeff closes with a brief word — scripture, challenge, or prayer. Same every week.

Accountability

The buddy system — how it works.

You are paired with 1-2 other men in the group. Every week — before the call — you send your buddy your five answers. He sends you his. You read each other's answers. You ask about them on the call or in a direct message. This is not optional. This is the accountability that makes the difference between a man who talks about change and a man who actually changes.

Buddy groups are 2-3 men. If your group is three, all three answers go to all three. The more eyes on your week, the harder it is to hide. That's the point.

How to send your answers: Text or email them to your buddy every week before the call. Keep it simple — copy the five questions, write your answers, send it. No formatting needed. Just honesty.

1

"Am I doing the work — daily, privately, without anyone watching?"

Faith · Private Foundation
2

"How am I intentionally growing closer to my wife this week — and what specifically did I do?"

Marriage
3

"How am I showing up for my kids — am I present with them, or just near them?"

Kids
4

"How am I seeing my work differently — am I building with purpose or grinding from fear?"

Work · Calling
5

"Am I healing — am I seeing my future as bright and full of possibilities, or am I still letting the past run me?"

Healing · Imagination
6-Month Pillar Progression

One pillar per month.
One arc.

Each month the group goes deep into one pillar — deeper than the website content, into specific exercises, weekly assignments, and real application. After six months the cycle begins again, but you are not the same man. The second time through lands differently.

01
Month One
Powerlessness

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me."

Ether 12:27 — Book of Mormon
Month Theme
Naming the False Power Move Cycle

This month is about identification. A man cannot interrupt a pattern he cannot name. The goal of Month 1 is for every man in the group to be able to clearly name his false power move — the specific behavior his brain reaches for when he feels out of control — and begin to see it without shame. Naming is not defeat. Naming is the beginning of freedom.

Breakout Room Question — Week 1

"What do you reach for when you feel out of control? Name it specifically — not stress, not anxiety. The behavior. What is it?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 2

"When in your life do you first remember feeling powerless? What did you do with that feeling?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 3

"What is the cost of your false power move — to your wife, your kids, your own sense of who you are?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 4

"What would it look like to surrender this pattern to God — not manage it, not fight it, but actually let go of it?"

Week 1
Write down your false power move and share it with your buddy. Not the polished version — the honest one. What do you actually reach for?
Faith · Private Foundation
Week 2
Tell your wife one honest thing about what you've been feeling lately. Not a summary. One specific thing you haven't said out loud.
Marriage
Week 3
Spend 20 uninterrupted minutes with each of your kids this week — phones in another room. Notice what they talk about when you are fully present.
Kids
Week 4
Identify one area of your work where you are operating from fear rather than purpose. Write one sentence describing what it would look like to operate from purpose there instead.
Work · Calling
02
Month Two
Accountability

"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much."

Luke 16:10

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned."

D&C 121:41 — Doctrine and Covenants
Month Theme
The Private Foundation

Month 2 draws the line between public and private accountability. Most high-achieving men are outstanding at public accountability — they deliver, they show up, they keep their word to others. This month builds the private foundation that most men have never built: what you do when no one is watching, what you put in your mind first, how you show up to yourself before you show up to anyone else.

Breakout Room Question — Week 1

"Describe your first 30 minutes of the day — not what you want it to look like. What actually happens?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 2

"Where is the gap widest between who you are in public and who you are in private?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 3

"What is one private discipline — small and specific — that if you did it daily for 90 days, would change you?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 4

"What would the man you want to become do in his first hour of the day? Describe it specifically."

Week 1
Build a morning practice — even 10 minutes. Prayer, scripture, or quiet reflection before your phone. Do it every day this week and report to your buddy.
Faith · Private Foundation
Week 2
Write your wife a note — handwritten — that says one thing you appreciate about her that you have never said out loud. Give it to her this week.
Marriage
Week 3
Ask each of your kids one question this week: "What's something you wish I understood better about you?" Listen. Don't fix. Don't explain. Just listen.
Kids
Week 4
Identify one commitment you have been making publicly — to your team, your family, yourself — that you are not keeping privately. Name it to your buddy and make a plan.
Work · Healing
03
Month Three
Create With Him

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do."

2 Nephi 32:3 — Book of Mormon
Month Theme
Controller vs. Co-Creator

Month 3 addresses the sequence most driven men get backwards. We decide, build, grind, succeed — then ask God to bless what we've already done. Co-creation inverts that. Foundation first. Then bring the plan honestly. Then watch for quiet doors. This month every man identifies one area where he is building alone and takes one step toward building with God instead.

Breakout Room Question — Week 1

"Where in your life are you currently forcing a door? What would it look like to stop forcing it?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 2

"Describe a time when God opened a door you weren't forcing. What did that feel like compared to the doors you forced?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 3

"What is one decision you are currently making without bringing it honestly to God first?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 4

"What would it mean to truly let go of the outcome in one area of your life — to act faithfully and release the result?"

Week 1
Choose one decision you are currently working through. Before you do anything else with it this week, bring it to God honestly in prayer. Write down what comes back.
Faith · Co-Creation
Week 2
Invite your wife into one decision you would normally make alone. Not for permission — for partnership. Notice how the conversation changes when you invite instead of inform.
Marriage
Week 3
Plan one activity this week that your kids choose — not you. Show up fully to whatever they pick. Let their joy be the point.
Kids
Week 4
Name the area of your work where you are most controlling. Write down what it would look like to lead that area from trust instead of control. Share it with your buddy.
Work · Calling
04
Month Four
Purpose

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Jeremiah 29:11

"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."

Alma 37:6 — Book of Mormon
Month Theme
Excavation — Not Construction

Purpose doesn't need to be invented. In almost every man it is already there — buried under urgency, obligation, and the accumulated weight of a life built trying to prove he was enough. Month 4 is an excavation project. The coaching task is not to create a purpose statement. It is to remove what is covering the one already there.

Breakout Room Question — Week 1

"If income were removed as a measure of success — what else would tell you this year mattered?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 2

"What do you want your children to say at your funeral — not about what you built, but about who you were?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 3

"What were you doing the last time you felt fully alive — not successful, but alive? What does that tell you?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 4

"Write one sentence that describes your purpose — not what you do, but what you are for. Share it with the group."

Week 1
Write the funeral answer. Two to three sentences. What do you want your kids to say about who you were — not what you built. Read it aloud to yourself. Report to buddy.
Purpose · Legacy
Week 2
Tell your wife one dream you stopped letting yourself have. Not a business goal. A life dream. Give her permission to respond honestly to it.
Marriage
Week 3
Ask your kids: "What do you think I love most in the world?" Listen to what they say. Notice the gap between their answer and yours.
Kids
Week 4
Write your purpose statement in one sentence. Share it with your buddy. Refine it together. This is not final — it is a stake in the ground.
Calling · Work
05
Month Five
Forgiveness

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 6:14

"Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me."

Mosiah 26:30 — Book of Mormon
Month Theme
The Three Dimensions — Setting Down the Weight

Month 5 is the most personal month. Forgiveness has three dimensions most men only understand one of: forgiving others, forgiving yourself, and receiving God's forgiveness. This month moves through all three — not to force anything, but to name what is still being carried and begin the process of setting it down. Every other pillar can only reach as high as your forgiveness ceiling allows.

Breakout Room Question — Week 1

"Is there someone whose name still brings heat, distance, or heaviness when it comes to mind? You don't have to name them here. Just acknowledge — is the weight there?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 2

"What chapter of your own life do you find hardest to forgive yourself for? What does carrying that chapter cost you?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 3

"Have you actually received God's forgiveness — or are you still, somewhere, trying to earn it? What's the difference in how those two things feel?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 4

"What would be different in your marriage, your parenting, or your faith if you set down the heaviest thing you are currently carrying?"

Week 1
Write the name — or describe without naming — the person you have carried the longest. What has holding onto that cost you? Write it honestly. Share it with your buddy.
Healing · Forgiveness
Week 2
Tell your wife one thing you have been carrying guilt about — toward her or toward your family. Not to confess. To clear the air. Let her respond.
Marriage
Week 3
Write a letter to your kids — not to give them — describing the father you are becoming. What weight are you setting down so they receive a different version of you?
Kids · Legacy
Week 4
Identify one place in your work where old wounds — fear of failure, need to prove yourself, resentment — are still driving decisions. Name it. Begin to separate it from your purpose.
Work · Healing
06
Month Six
Imagination

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews 11:1

"And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me."

Moroni 7:33 — Book of Mormon
Month Theme
Reclaiming the Vision

Month 6 is about what you build toward now that the work of the first five months has cleared the way. Imagination is not wishful thinking — it is a faculty, like a muscle, that atrophies under anxiety and pressure. This month every man reclaims a specific vision for his marriage, his family, his faith, and his work. The ceiling is gone. The question is: what do you see?

Breakout Room Question — Week 1

"When did you stop letting yourself imagine something better? What was happening in your life when imagination got quiet?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 2

"Describe your marriage as it could be — not as it is. Be specific. What does that version look like in a single scene?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 3

"What does your legacy look like when it is fully alive — not just what you built, but the man you became and the men you helped become?"

Breakout Room Question — Week 4

"Six months ago you started this work. What is different? Name one specific thing that has shifted — not hoped for, but actually changed."

Week 1
Start a daily five-minute imagination practice — before your phone, before the day gets loud. One specific scene of your life as it could be. Do it every day this week.
Faith · Imagination
Week 2
Tell your wife one specific vision you have for your marriage — what you are working toward, what you want to build together. Give her room to add to it.
Marriage
Week 3
Write a letter to your kids dated 10 years from now. Describe the relationship you have built with them. What does it look like? Read it to your buddy.
Kids · Legacy
Week 4
Write the vision for your work and calling in one paragraph — not a mission statement, a scene. What does it look like to go to work fully aligned? Share it with the group on the final call.
Work · Calling · Vision
Scripture Library

Anchor scriptures
by pillar.

These are the primary scriptures that anchor each pillar month. Use them to open calls, anchor your personal study, and as touchstones when the work gets hard. Both Bible and Book of Mormon are included — they speak to the same truths from different angles.

Pillar 1 — Powerlessness

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me."

Ether 12:27 — Book of Mormon
Pillar 2 — Accountability

"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much."

Luke 16:10

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained… only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned."

D&C 121:41 — Doctrine and Covenants
Pillar 3 — Create With Him

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

"Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do."

2 Nephi 32:3 — Book of Mormon
Pillar 4 — Purpose

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil."

Jeremiah 29:11

"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."

Alma 37:6 — Book of Mormon
Pillar 5 — Forgiveness

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 6:14

"Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me."

Mosiah 26:30 — Book of Mormon
Pillar 6 — Imagination

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews 11:1

"If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me."

Moroni 7:33 — Book of Mormon
Personal Commitment

The commitment you
make to yourself.

This is not a form for Jeff. This is for you. Write it, save it, revisit it. The man who names what he is building toward and writes it down becomes a different man than the one who just thinks about it.

Take five minutes with this. Don't write what sounds good. Write what is actually true — what you actually want, what you are actually willing to do, what actually needs to change. This is the foundation of your work in The Rare Ones.

Your commitment is saved. Come back to it when the work gets hard. This is who you said you wanted to become.